Sentiments//April,12,2008

I’ve been waiting for years to burst out this one.. Okay, I promise I won’t be talking sh*t about anyone, but I can’t promise not to make ‘sumbat’(okay, I’m asking my mom the English term for that).. So here goes.. Hmmm..Where to start.. Have you ever been pressured for many years to be someone you’re really not? Yeah, I did.. So I did the hardest decision I made in my life, transfer and start a new.. It was hard really..Like, YO! You spent three years in that freaking school, why transfer now? A lot of reasons…But one of the major reasons is, CHANGE.. I mean, how can you change if you’re in the same environment right? How can you change if everyone around you expects you to be the same? And hell, those ‘everyone’ wants you to change for God sakes! And so I transferred, I changed everything.. Even my name! Haha! Then again, one minute in this ‘different’ world, I can’t hardly manage myself! So, after a few weeks, I went back to my sanctuary…Our ‘tamabayan’ that most of my college friends despised.. Then I experienced pure bliss, and in the same time, I learned a lot, something that my friends won’t believe.. So I kept it as a secret, but eventually my secret came out and in the same time, I did one fatal error.. The rest of Mendiola is history.. ‘nuff said.. Like someone close to me said, “yan ka kasi, iniisip mong hanggang dyan ka na lang, kaya hanggang dyan ka na lang talaga!” WHAT?! If that was my thought, I shouldn’t have transferred right? I wanted to change! I swear I did.. Yeah, I did a mistake, but it never happened again..Coincidentally, that mistake happened when I was with them! It’s not that I’m pointing fingers but, I’ve noticed that when I’m around them, I’m devolving to the same bitch that I was in Mendiola.. Why? Coz everyone expects me to be that way! Even when I was still in Mendiola, every time I try to change, they’ll tease me or even test me! What hurts more is, they’re kinda frustrated about me transferring and there they go showing off their new friends…Then they’ll get mad at me for spending more time with my ‘kainuman’ than with them when most of the time, they’re not available..or sometimes, I have to do the guilt trip just to get them to be with me.. What hurts most is, I swallowed so much of my pride for them and proved a lot for a lot of years just to be abandoned like this.. Just like Faith..Yeah, Buffy gave her a lot of chances to change.. Until she gave up, but no, if you really care for the person, you won't get tired of her..


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Guess who's back//April,11,2008

Okay, RANTS,RAMBLINGS AND RAVES GALORE!!! I'm not yet satisfied with my layout! NYAAAAH...


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I am/I am a..

Monica. Munix. Maia. Monikeyth. Nicatotz. Pastrana. Carullo. Maryan. EX-Alcoholic. Stalker. Fangirl. Escolarian. Webdesigner. Catholic. Lazy smart ass chick. Techie. Composer. Narcoleptic. Otaku. Frustrated Writer. Forced-To-Be-Chef-Cook-Whatever.

LOVE ME
Materyales Fuertes. Outspoken. Happy Go Lucky. Sentimental. Intellectual. Witty. Friendly. Cheerful. Loyal. Selfless. Hyperactive. Straightforward. Optimistic. Promising.

HATE ME
DRAMA QUEEN. Alcoholic. Vicious. Martyr. Procrastinator. Angsty. Bitter. Glutton. Vain. Lazy. White Lies. Arrogant When Reprimanded. Rebel. Spoiled Brat. Impulsive. Irresponsible. Stubborn. Maldita. Temperamental. SLASH. Creepy Crawlies. Zombies. Rootbeer. Salad. Hypocrites. Judgemental Persons. Users. Authorities. People With Labels. Pink. Virus. Trojan. Worm. PE. Sports. Gata. Copycats. Pogirock Bands. AHAS. Curfews. False Humility. Taz. anime. music. arts. games. literature. psp. ipod. internet. ktv. o2jam. instant noodles. concealer. bags. chucks. d&g light blue. coffee. starbucks. beadshop. marlboro reds. djmix. orange. red. black. laptop. k770i. rain. Mang Jack's Tabituks. kani sushi. vintage. applepie. instant noodles. portable dvd. tropang L. ishinshishi. pechays. bibe'z. bhebhe'z. gmzterz. 3maria. highvoltage. tol. pumpkin. niugan. joyride. tutuban. opm and foreign bands. alcohol. adobe photoshop. redhorse. colt45. +++FRIENDSTER

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Faith Lehane is a fictional character created by Joss Whedon for the cult television series BTVS. Played by actress Eliza Dushku(who totally rocks YO!), Faith was introduced in the third season of BTVS in the episode, Faith,Trick and Hope and was a focus of that season's plot. She was activated after the death of Kendra Young in Season 2's Becoming Part 1. She returned for shorter story arcs on Buffy and its spin-off, Angel. The character's story is continued in the comic book series BTVS Season 8. I find her cool because of her cool catchphrases like, 'Five by Five' and 'YO!' and not to mention her kickass attitude. I also love her tragic character, deep and lonely and sad and interesting, something I can pretty much relate too. XD Uhm, this is the 19th version of my blog..Whew! It's been a year since I last updated this site! My HTML skills are kinda rusty na..So, Why Faith? I know BTVS is so 5 years ago and Angel is 4 years ago? Actually I only get to watch the whole TV series last year and I really got hooked at it, especially when Faith's character was introduced.. Coz I can really relate to her.. We're both in a road to redemption..Both waiting to be loved and trusted..At this moment, I feel for her in the episode, 'Five by Five' and 'Sanctuary' where everyone has given up for her except Angel.. It's just hard when people gives up on you and no one seems to believe that you can change..Right? Just like what i'm experiencing now..Yet, I still have people around me who believes in me..LOVEYAH ALL..:)

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Sorry guys, but i've lost track of all the links of my offline and online friends since I entered the second half of college. Kindly inform me of your new sites so I can include you here. YM me at nocturnalnesss +++XIAN

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